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Friday, August 10, 2012

The struggle---bible reading

It has been a while since I wrote. If you want to know it has been way to long. Let me fill you all in, and maybe this will encourage you in your walk. Let's all be honest, the Christian walk can get really rough....
So I will say that these events have happened over the last 6 to 12 months. I will not put them in order but will try to put them together in a way that will be helpful. Let me start by saying that the "Stay Strong" ministry has been going on for about 3 to 4 years and like most ministries if not all there is opposition... Yes we all should know that we have an enemy(s), that he is very strong and cunning or better yet let say he is smart. He can use whoever he can; even with them being unaware...Now that in of itself is a hard thing to deal with.
Also during that time sickness came upon me. Let me put it like this I thought I was getting the flu... then I would start feeling better for a few day... then sick then better then sick...then one day the sickness hit me like a ton of bricks I could barely stand...the next day to the doctors...a bad infection where you don't want to have infections...Iv therapy... Can you believe I got a little better but I was still sick. How did the doctor put it, it is very uncommon for someone to have 2 serious problems at once. Well another specialist...and test...
You know when you get older and sickness comes and it is not the common sickness that you had thru the years... and things hurt...that never hurt before... it get's one a thinking. Then when something is found and you here those words, we will send it out to see if it is cancer... Wow, or better yet whoa, hold on what did you say? The feeling... it is hard to describe...the days seem to go by so slowly... Well I don't have cancer... What a relief! But what is with us men? Why are we so hard, so callous, so insensitive...
So during that time pain killers...it is hard to think... it's so hard to read... Let me tell you what happened one day. I was sitting there in my house, just resting...not really doing anything, recoupperating but at this time I was feeling a lot better. A thought came in my mind to read the word, the bible. The bible was there on the table just out of my grasp; I looked at it and looked at it. I just could not pick it up and read it. I would like to say that this was just a 5 minute ordeal but no it was much longer than that and I do mean longer. The whole time the feeling to read the word of God was there, but for me to get up and move that 5 feet was so hard. I was frozen. I just sat there; what a sight that must of been! Let me tell you I enjoy reading God's word. But as I recollect on those weeks it seemed that I was reading less and less without being aware of it. Then bang that day hit! You see it is a slow progression that we all must be aware of; that is we read a little less... pray a little less or quickly... give thanks a little less... forget to ask for forgiveness... then before you know it your thought's are not on God... but more on the world... and yourself... your going your own way...thinking your own way. You see for me I need to read God's word, it is a live, it is fresh, it is food for my soul... It helps through my day... it helps me to focus on God the father, Jesus the son and the Holy Spirit. It helps in prayers... It helps me to draw near to Him. So Let's go back to that struggle. The struggle of reading God's word, yes it is real! Yes, it is one that can be won. Was the struggle one that was in of itself in my own will? Or was the struggle brought on by the evil one? I'm not sure but I do know this; that this struggle and ones like it come. We all need to stand strong in our resolve to follow Jesus and our resolve to draw near to God. James 4:7-8 "Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double minded." You see when we distance our self from God our hands(deeds) start to not be "good"... and our hearts(thinking) starts to be a miss... so let us all read God's word daily.